Since I became a death doula, I have taken on many responsibilities. My intent in beginning a podcast and this website has always been to inform. It would be easy to make this about business. It is not about business, however. It remains an intent to inform but also to educate. The business part allows me to meet other business people in this field so that I can be informed on resources for the community. What is the community? People who have come through our doors at our outreach month after month: some with curiosity, a little anxiety, and some to support someone who needs a companion. Community is coming together in discussion of tough topics. How do we plan our end of life? How do I talk to my parents about their end of life, where they will live, what treatments they would want or not want if they were unable to speak for themselves? Who will be the spokesperson on their behalf? What will happen to our bodies when we die? Will my circle know how much I love them? What can I do to show it now? And one of the group favorites: Is there such thing as a Viking funeral?
Community comes together to laugh, cry, contribute and remain in silent support. We share resources and I and my doula counterpart, Lenora, research the tougher topics to make sure we inform accurately. She and I share what we are learning and what other activities we carry out in our doula roles. We stay current in our training and continuing education. This takes up much of our time. We do it because of community. Bonds will be formed, relationships begun, and the information shared over and over again, resulting in a larger community.
Ultimately, the doula in me desires to inform as many people as possible so they can take some control in an uncontrollable event: death. To know that at least one person has been able to receive the care they want, the setting they dreamt of, with the people they wanted by their side, makes it all worth every minute of effort and ‘showing up’.
At some point I may offer virtual Doula Café meetings so that community can be built outside my town. Stay tuned for that. Or instead, reach out and let’s chat. Be a part of this community. You’re welcome here.