Actor Tom Sizemore suffered a brain aneurysm on February 19, 2023, according to Charles Lago, a representative for Mr. Sizemore. He had been hospitalized and in the intensive care unit following a brain aneurysm. Lago reported that the actor had been found by ‘someone’ at 2 a.m. He was admitted to the hospital and was in critical condition, not responding to treatment. Thankfully his family had been informed and were at the bedside, to ultimately be told to prepare to decide for ‘end-of-life matters’.
Mr. Sizemore was a well-known actor and was also known for his drug use and brushes with the law. At the end of his life, however, none of that mattered. What mattered most was that he had people at his side, waiting for any signs of recovery, and for the doctors to provide updates. Sadly, Mr. Sizemore’s condition did not change and, despite further testing, he remained in clinical condition. The doctors did eventually advise the family there was ‘no hope”. That must have been a really tough time for the family, likely sitting between hope and despair or grief at the news their loved one had no hope of recovering any sort of function. It was reported that the family had asked for privacy during this time as well, which I hope was honored. The news articles I read about Mr. Sizemore’s hospitalization and subsequent death were sparse on information, which leads me to think that the request was honored. What sort of ‘end of life matters’ were available for discussion? I don’t know. I do know that, from my personal experience, we were advised to say everything we wanted to say, to leave nothing unsaid, to notify any family members not close-by so that they could make travel decisions, and, to wait. The last decision, the one that will stop the heart or stop breathing for a patient, is, I believe, one of the most painful and difficult decisions one can make. I still question the choices I made, even though I am at peace with the decisions and feel at peace whenever memories return that cause me to question. I hope that the family of Mr. Sizemore can come to peace. We don’t know by the articles available whether the family made the final decision or whether he died naturally. Either way could be heartbreaking. My condolences to his family.
I do this work to promote conversation. I believe in leaving nothing unsaid. I don’t want to feel later, after the loss, that there was unfinished business between me and the one I lost. That could happen though, as in the case of sudden death. Death comes when death comes and we can’t always predict it or be present for it. The best we can do is let those we love, know we love them, seek forgiveness if necessary, or mend broken relationships if possible. The best WE can do does not mean the best OTHERS can do for us. We have to live in our mind and live with our choices. It brought me much peace more than once to know that I did all I could in my adult life to pursue healthier relationships. That comforts me when I am missing my dear, dead, family and friends.