Take Learning From When and Where It Comes
Yup! Another nugget came to me recently. Confession: I can be quite stubborn to learn concepts that are new or conflict with my beliefs or life experience. This is not always good, and I am realizing that when I can take in learning from someone I don’t know or don’t respect, or even dislike, I enrich my life in a way I had not considered. This requires an open mind. I don’t always respond to the information or even learn right away. I don’t always have an open mind. That’s where the stubbornness comes in: oftentimes the learning will pop into my mind when I encounter a situation long after the teaching was given, or if I’m sitting quietly, I will picture it. Sometimes I am so mindless in my activities or so busy I don’t allow myself time to ponder interactions with people. I have lost out on many opportunities for learning and growth. Let’s face it: we can be prideful and not want to take advice or learn from people we don’t like or who we don’t know.
This nugget today came to me as I read a comment from an internet chat. I wanted expert opinions for a blogpost, not some commentary from someone whose credentials I could not verify, so I wanted to discard the commentary. How would I validate his writing, or profession? Then I thought, “who do you think you are, hunting quotes online, searching out scholarly articles and not considering people who work in this field daily?” Not to mention that I am what is called a content creator now, and how will my readers validate my credentials? I have said from Day One that I am not a professional in death and dying. I do have a business and in that business I am a professional, with education and years of experience behind me. As it relates to death and dying, my only credential is that I have suffered loss, witnessed death, done much research, and have made decisions about my end of life choices. I have learned how to do research on the internet and check references, etc., but would you consider that enough validation to learn from what I share?
How about the person in the grocery store at the meat counter. You engage in conversation, and they share a tip about seasoning that piece of fish you’re buying. Do you ask them for credentials? Not necessarily and, if the person is nice enough, it may be all you need to go home and attempt their suggestion. Take the same encounter but your fellow shopper is rushed, pushy, and to get you to move on so they can have their turn, they curtly tell you a seasoning tip to get you out of their way. Would you go home and tell yourself, “well, that rude person in the store suggested I try such and so—great idea!” More likely, you would scowl a bit, shake off the uncomfortable exchange, and proceed to the recipe books rather than use the suggestion.
I sat with a woman months ago, waiting for an appointment, and we began a conversation. She described her rough past with drug use and attempts to keep a job, broken family ties and other troubles. She was pleasant, motivated, kind, and eager to help others with their troubles, which brought us to the appointment, as we were preparing to volunteer for a service organization. As we talked, we learned we had worked in the same industry. She had to leave her job because of the drug issues but she was turning her life around and had goals to get back into the field. As she shared about her life, I realized that I wouldn’t mind being her friend if that were a possibility. I wanted to know how she gets through each day, now as a single mom and a woman trying to create a new life. Her story was nothing like mine, but I found her fascinating and admirable. If I had seen the same woman somewhere else, perhaps on the street outside a homeless shelter or job line, would I have reacted the same way to her story?
I wrote recently about a puppy I was caring for and how watching him and learning how he was being trained allowed me to learn a different way of teaching behavior change that did not involve punishment or harsh words. I learned that his owner was patient, gentle, and kind.
Take the Learning
Take the learning from where and when you get it: you may not see it at the time or you may see it and reject its value, but you may be missing out on enriching your life in ways you never considered. Let’s not forget that you may even be able to pass it along to someone you never expected.